"When I'm dressed to the nines, I'm just a shirt and tie
With a taste for prestige, and beautiful mystery.
Well, clever girls dressed to kill are pretty bittersweet,
And better-suited for grief than beautiful mystery."
There is a topic that has been heavy on my heart, and my mind over the past couple weeks, months, and maybe even a year. We live in a day and age where relationships are a confusing, and messed-up tangle of mis-understood mess.
Single-hood. Marriage. Sound scary, don't they?
Have no idea about anything in between, now that's really scary.
What is God's will for my life in regards to relationships? Is there a will? How do I know?
These are some of my thoughts, and questions that I've asked myself over the past few weeks especially. The quote at the top of the post is something that I feel expresses some of what God has been showing me. Particularly the words, beautiful mystery.
Before we delve into the deep, I just want to say how important it is to remember that whatever God has planned for you is indeed, a beautiful mystery. If you remember nothing from this rambler's blog, please remember this. No matter where He leads, it will be beautiful. Whether that is single or married, broken-hearted or whole. He will redeem all, and use them for your benefit. He loves you, and looks out for your best. All of the following, deep and maybe confusing things are irrelevant if you don't understand Christ's love for you.
Another quick note, when I started writing this, I thought it would be a relatively short post but.. I got a little carried away. In this post I want to set the background and stage. Then, at a later date I hope actually look at the "play" itself. However, back to topic
First, when looking at relationships it is so important to come back to Scripture. What does God say about all of this? Does he say anything? Absolutely. Here is something:
"Reverently honor an older woman as you would your mother, and the younger women as sisters." (1 Timothy 5:2)
Another:
"Sometimes I wish everyone were single like me - a simpler life in many ways! But celibacy is not for everyone any more than marriage is. God gives the gift of single life to some, the gift of married life to others." (1 Corinthians 7:7)
So, Paul tells us here in Corinthians that it is a blessing to be single! There have been many messages preached on this topic. But, I think we can introduce key point 1.
Key point #1: No matter what state of our lives, we are called to serve Christ.
If you don't know Paul's story, it is a phenomenal one. This man went through some of the most dire of all circumstances. ( See 2 Corinthians 11 if you have any doubt. ) Here is a sample:
"Five times I received at the hands of the Jews the forty lashes less one. Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned..." (2 Corinthians 11:24-25)
He didn't see the what we would call beautiful side of life. Yet, at the end of his life he was still able to say:
"The saying is trustworthy, for:
If we have died with him, we will also live with him;
if we endure, we will also reign with him;
if we deny him, he also will deny us;
If we are faithless, he remains faithful-
for he cannot deny himself." ( 2 Timothy 2:11-13)
Paul suffered. He later in 2 Timothy says that he is ready to go! He fought the good fight, he kept the faith. It was worth it. God was faithful because He cannot deny Himself. It amazes me that this man of faith would say, "...when we are faithless". We all struggle and doubt, but so did this amazing saint. Still, he reminds us that there is nothing more rewarding than the stepping into glory and hear, "well done thou good and faithful servant."
In our singleness, we are called to serve, just like Paul. Those of us who are single do not have the weight and burden of a mate. We can do amazing things for God, and serve him in profound ways. But unfortunately, we've settled down into our couches, next to the warm fireplace with a warm cup of coco, and dozed off, dreaming about the... "future". Guys. We have a calling. A calling to be out in the world, not of the world, and reaching the lost. How long will we sit and fantasize over a "future relationship"? I can only say this so bluntly because I have been there. I've dozed. But it is time to wake up. It's time to worship, and serve the Lord. Because ultimately, that's the only thing that matters.
So, how do we go about handling relationships? People vary on opinions on this. I think scripture is pretty clear.
God says that guys, you are to treat girls as your sisters. Girls, the flip side inverse of that means you treat us guys as brothers.
"Reverently honor an older woman as you would your mother, and the younger women as sisters." (1 Timothy 5:2)
We see in this verse Key Point #2: Be respectful.
Some practical, not drawn from scripture directly per-say thoughts,
a. Girls.. please respect us guys. Dress in such a way that you are not better-suited for grief. This doesn't mean wrapping yourself up in a flour sack and rolling around everywhere you need to go. But I don't think you need to reminded when something is just too much.
b. Guys. Respect girls. If you are like me, and don't have any biological sisters, I understand how hard it is to think of how you treat sisters. Another way I like to think of it is, remember that while they are your sisters-in-christ, they are also God's daughter. Just as we ask the biological father what is appropriate, we should ask the Heavenly Father what He thinks is appropriate for His daughter. That thought rocked, and changed my life.
c. We've often heard: "Enjoy your singleness" or, "Take pleasure in being single". I was thinking over this on my way to school this morning, and God spoke through my radio, and my shivers. He said, "Jacob.. Don't take pleasure in your singleness. Take pleasure in Me. If you take pleasure in Me, no matter what stage of life you will find pleasure."
So, we've seen Key point #1: No matter what state of our lives, we are called to serve Christ. Also Key point #2: Be respectful. After more study, and more time to think, I hope to write a post focusing on the part that you were all hoping I'd talk about. The actual "beautiful mystery" part. But don't count on it.. because of two things. One, I found out when I started writing that this was a way deeper topic than I thought. I'm not even sure this is blog content. :) And two, I'm not there yet. When I get there, I'll let you guys know. :)
Enjoy your holiday and rest in Christ! May we truly be a thankful people.
Rest.
